07.20.08
Greetings from Mother Russia - St. Petersburg
So I flew from Gatswick to St.Petersburg the city formerly known as Leningrad.. the adventure pretty much started in Gatswick.
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Having not read my Lonely Planet, I was not aware of how modern the Russian airlines’ fleets were. Even the seats were rusty .. that’s right… Rusty! not Ruski! and for the first time ever on an aircraft I was served fish fingers as a meal. I should have guessed it was downhill from there. After landing in St.P I spent over an hour waiting in the immigration line … it seems some nationalites can be processed in twenty seconds whereas others take twenty minutes. Having made it through this debacle I finally got through (in twenty seconds) and found myself a taxi to take me into town. I had a night in St.P before the others arrived. Not wanting to venture out alone in a city “notorious” ( so said the guidebook, Hurrah!) for racially motivated violence, I decided to do some emailing in the hotel. Two terminals amongst hundreds of guests was a bad ratio so I decided to wait it out at the bar. Bad Choice (more on this later). At the bar I decided to start sampling the various vodkas … thus the night ends.
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The next day was spent moving into the hotel where the rest of the group, my friend Kelly from work and her sisters, would be arriving to start our trip. Note: This trip was actually oganised by Kelly and her sisters (Lisa and Cara) but there was a spare spot so I took the lazy route and tagged along. Quite happily we set about doing the usual touristy thing using our Lonely Planets for guidance. By day two we had already been arrested. The weather was quite good in St.P so whilst touring the Russian Museum we decided it would be a good idea to go to a supermarket to pick up some supplies for a picnic and head off to the Summer Gardens for some Lunch al Fresco. I think we probably had about 15 minutes of sitting down and eating before out the corner of my eye I saw two policemen walking up an adjacent path. I had been keeping an eye out because we had heard/read countless stories of police corruption and so-called ‘fines’. Sure enough I saw them veer off their original path and head up ours. Ignoring in the hope that they would just keep walking we kep eating. Next thing we know they’re in front of us telling us we can’t eat in the park - “This not restaurant!”. They gestured that we were to get up and follow them all the while throwing the word “arrest” in there. They walked us to the police booth sat us down and started writing out a ‘report’. In the meantiem they also showed us a slip of paper in English that basically indicated that we were not allowed to drink in public places, museums etc … and that the fine was 1000 roubles. So after a bit of a standoff we decided to pay the ‘fine’ 1000 each, and headed off. Whilst it was clearly a shake-down we did also notice on the way out that there was a sign indicating that eating and drinking was not allowed in the park. Since then we have developed an absolute paranoia when it comes to any activity that could be considered even remotely against the law.
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After the arrest we finshed off our lunch in front of a University where there were plenty of other people eating and drinking, safety in numbers yes?, and then headed off to a river cruise. the theory was that we couldn’t be arrested on a boat. During the boat ride we did notice a corpse on one pier being inspected by police, clearly someone that thought the water in St.P was potable. That’s right people, do NOT drink the water here. We continued with our tourist activities including attending a performance of Swan Lake at the Mariinsky theatre. Along with this we discovered Blini - Russian pancakes, Pelmeni - Russian dumplings and of course Vodka.
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Our second last night in St.P was spent on a pub crawl … more of a bar crawl .. four of us plus a swedish couple. Alex our guide started off with a very local bar … seriously … this place just had old russian men having a ‘few’ drinks after work. Imagine the reaction when we roll in with four girls in tow .. suddenly we were being assessed from every angle, the girls from a few more than the guys. We bought a bottle with the intention of having a single shot and then moving on. Within seconds another patron had bought a bottle for our group, not sure if it was out of friendship or because he was hoping to get the girls drunk. After a bit of joking and cajoling and Alex trying to calm everyone down - at this stage the old man was giving the girls kisses - the old man decided he needed to arm wrestle me. We’ll never know if he was just letting me of or if my lack of flexibility prevented my arm from being bent bacwards because it was declared a draw as neither of us could overcome the other. Given that his biceps felt like rocks I’d say it was the former rather than the latter. He seemed pretty cheerful about it though and then proceeded to jump on me as if I was some tree in the park. This was met with cheers from most of his buddies and eventually he gave up on trying to best me in feats of strength .. methinks he was trying to win the girls off me somehow. We then continued in our quest for othe bars, some were closed (possibly just to foreigners, we were never quite sure) and some Alex avoided because he was afraid of a repeat of the arm wrestling and kissing. We stopped at a Central Asian restaurant for a snack and some sheesha and that’s really where the trouble started. Three contributing factors.
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One - Vodka - The girls by this stage had decided vodka was the nectar of the gods and had no alcohol thus should be ordered by the half litre, especially as we were in Russia.
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Two - Sheesha - We ordered a hookah and some apple flavoured sheesha to smoke while we drank.
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Three - Snuz - Not quite snuff, Mikael and Suss decided to introduce us to this lovely Swedish pasttime of putting little packets of tobacco-like substance between our gums and lip and letting it slowly absorb. Let’s just say that it took all of five minutes before I started feeling dizzy.
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By the time we left this restaurant and headed on to our next stop, to be our final stop, we were well and truly flying, to use a Sri Lankan term. At the last bar we continued with the Vodka shots by this stage everyone had had at least seven 50ml shots. We only made it through two as people were starting to feel the effects but I must say it didn’t stop us having a great time. Alex had abandoned us by this stage as I think he was afraid of the consequences of being around us in our state. We were definitely looking very arrestable. Luckily we were close to our hotel and after bidding goodbye to our newfound Swedish friends we walked back to our hotel. Suss and Mikael - thanks for the fun night and I hope you didn’t get arrested during your stay. Mikael left he Snuss pack with me … not sure if that was a good idea or not … I still have the bottle of Vodka the old man bought us too. We plan to have a vodka session on our next train ride which will take about 26 hours.
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The next day was spent on a day tour out to Catherines palace and was more of a recovery day for some of us that partied a little harded than the rest of us. Certain people were seen to be waving pickled herrings and pringles in the air at our local milk-bar type shop while others collapsed in a fit of laughter just as we walked up to our rooms …. drawing nasty looks from the lady looking after our floor.
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So we finally made it out of St.P by bus … heading to our next stop … Novgorod. This place deserves an entry all its own so I’ll not try and describe it here. So far we have not been arrested since that day and we’re hoping to keep it that way. After Novgorod we head to Moscow, the starting point of the Trans-Siberian (Eastbound).